dispersing & reflecting light through poetry

Archive for August, 2015

Chasing the Echo

Continuing work on the pantoum. I worked out the two repeating lines for the first and last stanzas. I plan to keep this short–four stanzas–not quite adept enough for a longer pantoum.

Punctuation does not have to be the same for the repeating lines. This helps to give new meaning to the line. I’ve also slightly changed word order of line 3 and the word “to” in line 2 becomes “do”–still the same sound. Not sure how I want the last line to look.

I’m working down and then back up towards the middle. This is what I have so far:

line1 Can You hear, God?
line2 Are your ears open to my prayers?
line3 Am I whispering in the wind,
line4 answering echo for echo?

line2 Are your ears open? Do my prayers
line5 reach the heights of heaven’s heart
line4 answering echo for echo
line6 on bended limb?

line5 Reach the heights of heaven’s heart
line7
line6 on bended limb
line8

line7
line3 I Am whispered in the wind
line8
line1  Can you hear God?
        Can you hear? God.

Copyright © 2015 Scott Daniel Massey

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To Pantoum

I confiscated a line from a co-worker a few months ago. I don’t recall the conversation or if it was merely said in passing, but I took the line and told him I  would use it in a poem. He actually liked the idea that I would take something he said and use it in a creative way. So I jotted it down on an electronic note and promptly forgot about it.

And I do mean forgot the line totally.

Until the other day the same co-worker  asked if I had written the poem yet. Admittedly, I had not and I confessed that I couldn’t even remember what the line was, though I knew it was one of those really good, unforgettable lines. Fortunately, I keep scraps of thought and I had this one in a text for just such bits and pieces.

“I heard it through the echoes”

So having re-acquired the line and the renewed challenge to use it, my mind gnawed on it. What’s the theme? What did I hear? How do I present it?

OK. Echoes. Repetition. A pantoum. I’ve used the form once before. Here’s the format:

line1
line2
line3
line4

line2
line5
line4
line6

line5
line7
line6
line8

as many stanzas as needed

line7
line3
line8
line1

And that’s about as far as I am. More later.

Copyright © 2015 Scott Daniel Massey

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